Cravings… I simply need that to look forward to

I get cravings for all kinds of things ALL. THE. TIME! Losing weight/getting healthier isn’t always easy even if you are really good at making the right choices.

My cravings are for both food amd sweets. Anything from a second and a third portion of food, to that 200g chocolate bar. Neither is a very smart choice.

Mostly it’s all avout ignoring that evil little voice in the back of your head telling you that “it’s only one time” or “it’s really bot that big of a deal, it’s not THAT much extra” etc. If you’re anything like me, you know that it IS a big deal and that it IS that much extra. For that one time will turn in to another. And another. And another…

I have my super-awesome wookiee-cookies jar and it is filled with chocolate chip cookies. Oh yes!

(Those are the first cookies I tried. They were darn yummy too.)

Every day, I have a cookie (some times, I have 2!!) when I’m reading in the evening. That way it is easier to say no to that evil voice. I know I have a treat waiting for me.

The reason I chose to plan this for my days, is that I know I need to have something to keep me “in line”. I simply need that to look forward to.



Oh, how I love food!!

I really do. I love food! People think that this is why I gained weight in the beginning. It’s not. That would be my thyroid. But it’s still easy to eat way too much. I will gladly go back for more.

Since I have POTS, I have to really think about what I eat and how much. Right there is “no more seconds!”… No sugar. No rice. No pasta. Very little potatoes of it’s not late and I’m not doing anything after eating.

This is mostly what I eat:

It’s really good food and I really love it! (I do, however, miss lots of yummy things). As for my weightloss, well, it doesn’t suffer from the food I eat 🙂

Today, I actually had pizza since I’m coming down with a cold and I feel like crap. I had it at ~ 16.30 and now, at 19.50, I’m still flat on my back on the sofa trying to function.. I’ve been trying to go to bed since 18 but my body just will not cooperate. I’m gonna try again when this is posted.

Tomorrow… I’m thinking chicken. Since I’m not well I won’t be doing anything tomorrow night, so there will most likely be mashed potatoes!!

Good night 💖

craving for sugar, from hell

Today has been both a really long day and a very short one. Odd how that works…

When I was at the store buying fruit and veggies for the office I realy wanted something sweet. And after aying I got a horrible headache and decided to go back and buy a Coca Cola Zero. I LOVE pepsi, so I didn’t want to buy a diet Pepsi because I would just go “ooh I want the real thing” or something. But I’m not too fond of Coca Cola, so that felt like a good idea. And it was.
Until I got a craving for sugar, FROM HELL!!! That was new for me, I’ve never had that horrible cravings for. And I usually crave a specfic thing, not “anything with sugar”. But then two different people said they Always get that after drinkin Coca Cola Light and Coca Cola Zero.
But I made it 🙂
I bought strawberries and took a banana as well, so that was good.

After work I was extremely hungry and since I was supposed to go for a wlk straight after gettng home I wanted to eat something. That soething was a turkey sub at Subway. Not my favourite place, but it was better than last time 🙂
Then after standing in the wind for 30 minutes due to bus chaos, we freezingly decided that we needed to stay indoors for the remainder of the day… I’m still cold, and I’ve been home for a little over an hour!

On a brighter note, my tomatoes are getting bigger. I mean the plants!

It looked as if 2 of the cayenne peppers might be showing themselves soon as well 🙂 So yay on that!

Now, I’m going to sit back, have some water, and read until it’s time for food!


How to lessen that irritating craving.

I wish there was a universal answer to that one, I really do 🙂
I didn’t stop with everything, I ate less and less and less every time. I have decided on the following:
Monday – friday I eat good and healthy food and drink water/Ramlösa.
On Saturday I get something small after my long walk.
On Sunday I get a soda while out walking.

During the evening, when you really feel like your mouth is ready to do you in if it soesn’ get anything sweet, I have “cinnamonbun tea”! It.. is.. SO GOOD! No sugar and no caffeine. Brilliant! IF I want to, I’ll have a small cookie from the wookiecookies jar (only one).

The cravings still come, but they’re not as bad as before. For me, my long walks help with that too. I’m not very hungry after being out for a longer time. My POTS is a bit funny there, the more things I do (physically) the less I can actually eat. Just can’t get more than a few bites down. A bit odd really 🙂


2 out of 3 were on sale

What… a… day… it’s been a “potsie day” today too, but I’m used to it. I’ve been close to passing out 4 times in 4,5 hours today (3 times at work), but I made it, so yay on that 🙂

I went for a follow up at Citadellkliniken after getting botox around my eyes to open them a bit. I have heavy eyelids and always look pretty tired, and people are pretty quick to tell me so 😦 I like the result. And I have had no headaches since getting the injections!

So today I had a ‘fastlagsbulle’ (or as the “proper” swedes would say, “semla”).

I’s about the size of my fist. Mine is a bit of a “cheat”, I have vanilla cream under the whipped cream, and it’s supposed to be almond “cream” (it’s super sugary, so no thank you).
We have these on february 28 (but they start to sell them in november/december).
Once, in school, an exchangestudent from Alaska tried it. He said “I can feel my arteries getting clogged up!” Ok, I’ve tried a Twinkie, this right here is NOTHING compared to that!!!

I also tried on new glasses, 2 pairs and sunglasses:

2 out of 3 were on sale, pretty good 🙂 I pay a monthly fee, and once/year I can change 1 pair. And everything possible is included. In ~ 10 days they’re miiiine!

Otherwise, I don’t actually have much to talk about today. I don’t remember portions of the day, maybe I would have more to say if I did 😛

Like I’m hitting a wall in high speed

I’m not really sure if this will be a long post or not. But I need to write it.

I have 20kg to lose (44lbs). Since I got medication for my thyroid, it hasn’t been too hard for me to lose weight. But now, since my POTS has gotten pretty bad, it’s getting harder and harder to lose it. I don’t know why. I have, however, heard that if you have POTS it will be a lot harder for your body to deal with fat and bad carbs/sugar. I can’t remember where I read it, so if any of you potsies have seen it too, or have read the opposite or anything, please let me know 🙂

True or not, I have to be so careful with what I eat, how much I eat, when I eat, if the food is warm or cold, what I’m going to do during the day etc.
Everything is about planning and thinking and always being 2 steps ahead.
You’d think that would make it easy to lose weight, but sadly, no. I’m really lonely in my POTS “situation” and I’m even more lonely in losing-weight-while-deaing-with-my-POTS-situation.

I can’t do everything I want in my daily life, I have t compromise. I can’t anything I want, healthy or not, I have to compromise. So often I feel like I have no control over my life and I just want things to be easier. Not Always, I’d settle for sometimes!

Imagine having to eat a certain way day after day after day. Finally it just gets too bad and I’m craving EVERYTHING. And I WILL eat things my POTS cant handle. I feel like I’m hiting a wall in high speed, my brain just goes “FOOOOOD!! Everything, anything, NOW!!” And even if it’s just once/week it will ruin so much for me. It has to be a TINY amount of whatever treat/sweet I feel like having. A whole meal of yummy can ruin an entire week of hard work and eating right.

I know, it sounds so weird. But that’s the way it is. I retain sooo much water sooo easily. I need my daily cardio (riding a stationary bike with support for my back/leaning way back), it’s the only thing that helps… I dont care what it takes from me, I’ll start again on the 6th. I have a long week ahead of me, lots to do at work and quite a few apointments afterwork, so I know my body will be way too overwhelmed then. I’ll go for short walk to “warm up” before the 6th.

Does anyone else struggle with these things? You know like”only” having POTS isn’t enough…
I will be taking photos of my food daily, all of it, and putting them all in to one picture and update here. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna warm up some food and I just rememberd I forgot to buy broccoli so I will have o get something else…. don’t know what…

10 minutes

Gaining weight and losing weight. Clothes that are too big and clothes that are too small.

Like I’ve said before, I’ve gained a lot of weight last year and then more this year while beeing sick. No fun. And I’ve needed to buy way too many shirts now.

That’s all in the past. I’ve started to focus on no and tomorrow. Every day can be gotten through with the 10-minutes-thinking (for me, try it if you’d like). When I get cravings for whatever unhealthy (if it’s not the one thing I’ve planned for the week) I tell myself that “I have to do this first, just 10 more minutes”. Then after 10 minutes I tell myself the same thing again. And again. And again. What “this” is, can be anything – something at work, the next chapter of a book, go through my closet – anything.

I decided to eat tomorrows chocolate today. Tomorrow will been  bunch of yummy and healthy food. Who can say no to that, right?

Tomorrow I will post where I am now, weight, waist etc. Then on every saturday, I will see what’s happened.

Today I made this for the next few days:


Buy a dress

Guess what, today I won’t whine. Not even a little! So you can read on without any worries of that 😛

Yesterday I was just way too exhausted and tired too post anything, but here I am today 🙂

I need to get better at taking care of myself. There’s some food I just shouldn’t be eating, and I have to get moving again. I’m not sure where I will find the energy to do it, but…
Well, the food part is (almost) easy, it’s the get-your-ass-to-the-gym-part that’s difficult. I’ll make it. Somehow. I’m gonna talk to my cardiologist next friday and see what he says.

All of last year I gained way too much weight, and then more when I was home sick for 4 weeks. My back hurts. My hips hurt. Everything basically suck.
I’m going to focus on the food first.

So, my goal for tomorrow (besides getting home in one piece):
– Buy lots of healthy food when I go for my weekly shopping.
– Buy a dress to have waiting as my first NSV (non scale victory).

On to food

Day 5 with the holter and my skin wants to give up. But it’s almost over now 🙂

Today was all kinds of hell in another way. I Went to the dentist. I had to have a tooth fixed… Guess what I’m SUPER AFRAID of… yeah… So now I have to wait a few hours before I can eat anythng and I’m so hungry! But that’s ok, I’ve had an apple 😛

On to food. What’s on my plate these days:



Aaand some of this:


I really love asparagus, throw them on the grill and it’s even better! Too bad it’s so expensive. But veggies in general are pretty nice sooo 🙂

I know, the post is kind of boring… but I can’t feel a part of my face, I’ve stressed my way to a horrible headache and I’m really hungry so I’m just gonna go on and sulk 😛

Sleeping like a baby

Not as good as one, but as much as one. Almost.

I’m so tired… My breathing isn’t getting better, I’m still sleeping way too much, I’m still having problems eating, I have chestpains on my left side (don’t know why) and today I started couching. And now my left side hurts more. Just what I needed 🙂

On monday I talked to my cardiologist, he sent me to the emergency room to see if they could keep me at the hospital for a few days and see what the heck is wrong with me. He doesn’t believe my POTS is fully responsible for how I’m doing. However, the doctor at the emergency room didn’t agree, he’s sure my POTS is fully responsible and sent me home again.

So yesterday = sleep. Sleep some more. Sleep a bit more. And a hint of television. I might have to see The Flash all over again because I hardly remember what I’ve seen the last few weeks…
Today? Uhm… more sleep. Aaaand just a bit more sleep. I have The Arrow on in the background just so it won’t be completely quiet here.

You wanna know what’s really weird about all of this?
I get worse every now and then, but not lik this. When I get worse, I get tired, I sleep a bit more and I have problems eating. And I lose weight, lots of it, 3-4kg/week!
This time, I’m extremely exhausted, I don’t sleep a bit more, I sleep LOTS MORE, I have problems eating but I’ve started to GAIN weight!

I’m just so sick and tired of this…